Homosexuality

This has been a topic that Ive constantly wrestled with for a while.
I gull a lot of  sissyish tendencies about myself. Thats something that I wasnt able to admit to myself for a want time. I didnt the likes of the fact that people already associated effeminacy with homosexuality, and I didnt want to be looked upon like a stereotype. I also think that the thing that make me hate my feminine characteristics were the fact that, it was those very qualities about myself, that subjected me to bodily and verbal abused by the people I had to go to school with…everyday…since I was 6! 
After awhile, when I decided that I would finally be aim comfortable in the skin Im in; I began to mystify to love the person that I am, and work on qualification others love the person that I am. I do a pretty great job at that! Id say that I have a pretty good standing with majority of the heterosexual men that I come in contact with, receiving the constant If I was gay…it would be with you… line (which I define flattering personally). The problem all the same…is that when it comes to the actually gay men that Id find myself attracted to….they arent attracted to me because apparently….they realise men…and if they wanted to date a wo soldiery, theyd date a woman, and not a man trying to be a woman.



 
No 1 has EVER said this to me personally…I probably would have beat the shit out of them. Personally gender to me is subjective. biologically of course Im a male, but I dont personally identify myself with a gender. What bothers me, is that effeminate gay men, are stripped of their title as a MAN, which is what they are, because men have to pump iron, and play sports, and drink bear, and jazz fist pump. ITS STUPID!
I personally think that Im more man than any masculine man can ever be. Ive done things that they could never do. Ive faced things that they could never face. Ive overcome things that they could never overcome.
If they dealt with creation bullied since they were in the first grade.
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